Anirban Ray's Blog

God help me

2010-10-03T20:54:00.002+05:30

It’s an often heard expression when life throws us a challenge—“God help me!” As I see it, God helps us by not helping. He keeps throwing challenges at us to “test” our ability to overcome them. And if we accept them and do our best to overcome them, we develop a special ability called character—courage, fortitude, integrity, honesty et al.

So next time you say “God help me!” remember to help yourself. God is helping you always, all the time.

Good plumber, bad plumber, and ...

2010-07-10T22:57:00.001+05:30

There are, in all probability, only three kinds of people in the world—the good plumber, the bad plumber, and the one who goes beyond being just a plumber—the kind of person, who cleans up all the muck and redesigns the entire system in a way that the muck never shows up.

I always aspire to be the third kind. However, I’m seeing so much muck lately, that I’m beginning to doubt if I would ever be able to clean it all up. Two of my very close friends—patience and hope—are helping me. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

Taming the monkey mind

2010-07-01T17:11:00.000+05:30

The mind has a natural tendency to roam between the sensory inputs. Every sensory input creates a ripple in the mind—a surge of electricity that bind neurons and creates pathways in the brain. Based on the inputs we receive, new pathways are created and old pathways are pruned. Little by little the structure of our brain changes, little by little we change as individuals. I’m not the same person I was yesterday. You are not the same person you were yesterday. Little by little we are transformed completely.

Transformation induced by sensory inputs makes us reactive—the state of the brain where we are no more in control of our actions, but merely responding to external stimuli. At that point, we are caught in a vicious circle—a sensory input creates a ripple in the mind, the ripple causes us to react, the reaction induces other sensory inputs, again causing a ripple and so on. The ripples created in our mind shapes our personality and make us who we are.

Is there a way out of this vicious circle? Is there a way out of this reactive behavior?

Yes, there are several ways. We could start by trying to understand how the mind works. We could use meditation as a tool—a tool that may help us to collect the fragments of our mind—fragmented by our own sense perception.

Withdraw your senses and observe how it changes you. Focus between your eyebrows and forget everything else.

Social Networking Bankruptcy

2010-02-22T16:24:00.004+05:30

As an early adopter, I’ve been using MySpace, Facebook, and Orkut for long. But I did something unexpected today—not unexpected for me but for some of my virtual friends—I canceled my MySpace account.

It’s probably a sign that I’m facing social networking bankruptcy. Too many networks, too many virtual friends, and too much chatter … but very little that can add value to my life.

Maybe someday, with the advancement of technology, our virtual lives will look and feel as real as our real lives. Maybe it’ll be the only way—if and when Mother Nature unleashes her fury on us and we’re forced to live like rats in underground tunnels—we can experience the sights, sounds, and smells of the world as we know it today. May be social networking, virtual worlds, mind uploading, and many other concepts will all come together one day and engulf us in a new Maya. Maybe future generations will be born engulfed in that Maya and never know any other way of existence.

However, until then, I think it adds more value to pick up the phone and call a friend … or if he/she is too busy send a text message or an e-mail. I know many of you will disagree … but that’s what life is all about … as they say “to each his/her own.”

Note: I’m still hanging around in Facebook and Orkut though, because I still find the photo sharing feature useful.

The Best of 2009

2010-01-05T08:17:00.003+05:30

Since 2009 is now over, I thought it would be interesting to explore the things that appealed to me most ... to my senses to be precise.

The best thing I saw—Avatar in 3D and everything we saw in Orlando. Blind Side was a close second.

The best thing I heard—songs by Parapar.

The best thing I touched—my new Garmin nuvi GPS. I'm directionally challenged and hate asking for directions—what better thing to touch?

The best thing I tasted—seafood by Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.

The best thing I smelled—the air in Arkansas ... sounds strange? It won't if you come from Kolkata.

What appealed to me beyond the senses? The joy of meeting my family after three months. The Corporate Service Corps experience was a close second.

Miniature ballerinas

2009-12-09T17:45:00.020+05:30

Magic happened one day when I was lying in Sampurna’s arms with my head on her chest—flakes of snow started appearing. They danced their way down like miniature ballerinas, softly and quietly and in no hurry to touch the earth. It seemed like a gift from the heavens as they floated on air and kissed the window panes. We kept on watching the snow as it descended on the courtyard. After almost two hours, the courtyard turned completely white. London experienced its heaviest snowfall in ten years.

—God Behind the Firewall

Bentonville is no London, I'm no Arun (the protagonist in the novel), and I'm all by myself. However, it’s the same with snowfalls. As I looked through the window panes early in the morning, flakes of snow started appearing. They danced their way down like miniature ballerinas, softly and quietly and in no hurry to touch the earth. It seemed like a gift from the heavens as they floated on air and kissed the window panes. I kept on watching the snow as it descended on the parking lot. I witnessed snowfall, for the first time in Bentonville.

Arkansas – The Natural State

2009-12-06T19:15:00.010+05:30

It’s not without reason that Arkansas is called The Natural State—mountains, rivers, falls, streams, and hot springs have been sprinkled like pixie dust by Tinker Bell. There is only one thing that you'll need, in order to follow the trail left by Tinker Bell—wanderlust … actually on second thoughts … there's another thing you'll need … a car.

So I took my car and followed the pixie dust trail and ….

I found a falls that reminded me of the boundless energy and disarming innocence of my son.

I witnessed a sunset over a lake that reminded me of the beauty and grace of my wife.

I witnessed the colors of the fall that reminded me of the harmony and bonding that we share as a family.

It seems that Arkansas can bring out the best in me—the best dad and the best hubby. And I’m not trying to be cute; I’m making a point here.

The usual suspects

2009-11-10T19:53:00.003+05:30

Why would a middle-aged man travel almost nine thousand miles for work, leaving his family behind, for an indefinite period? I’ve been trying to answer this question for the last two months. And did I succeed? Not yet—but I think I’m getting there.

OK, so let’s shoot down the usual suspects first, before I start getting philosophical—it’s my daily drug—can’t live without it.

Is it about the money?

Seven years back I would have probably said yes—the paycheck wasn’t attractive. I needed more money to even think about being a father. And as luck would have it I did board a flight to London—a young man, traveling five thousand miles, for an indefinite period … and for money.

Seven years … things have changed … many things have changed. The money still isn’t attractive—but it’s good enough to stick with the family. I love my wife more than I’ve ever loved her and I simply adore my son … he’s a bit shy, like me, but he also tops his class, paints exceptionally well, and plays tennis much better than the ten year olds who play with him.

Will it help me in my career?

Maybe it will … but it’s not why I took the offer. I’ve never put my career before my family. Sorry folks, it’s just not me.

Am I going through a mid-life crisis?

Like most events in my life, my mid-life crisis came way too early. I think I’m well past it … actually I’m sure I’m well past it. You know it when it’s gone. You feel a sense of calm, you begin to accept things more easily, you begin to take things in your stride, and most importantly you stop complaining—about your life, about your wife, about your job, about anyone and/or everything that matters to you most.

Is it the wanderlust?

OK, let’s settle this matter once and for all. A middle-aged man, with a loving wife and a doting son, never takes off without his family just for the sake of wanderlust. A week’s vacation for the entire family to someplace exotic could take care of that.

OK … so let me ask again. Why would a middle-aged man …?

I don’t know … yet. But I think I’m beginning to understand. Sometimes you do a thing because you feel that’s the right thing to do—you flow like the river … you let it go … you take it as it comes … you stop resisting. And what you get in return could change your life for ever … you begin appreciating what you leave behind, much more than you ever had … you truly come to realize what matters most.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to make the best use of my current goddamn situation … making a little bit of money, trying to advance my career, feeling happy that my mid-life crisis is behind me, and most importantly satisfying my wanderlust.

And about the wanderlust thing … will write more about it in my next posting. Stay tuned.

I'm no Shahrukh Khan!

2009-09-26T07:15:00.007+05:30

My fifth visit to the United States started rather eventfully. At Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose International Airport in Kolkata, I was subjected to a rather prolonged security check—the security personnel mistook my USB flash drive as a … hold your breath … lighter.

“I don’t even smoke,” I complained. The security guys looked nonchalant. I was starting to get impatient as one of the guys rummaged through my handbag. Fortunately, better sense prevailed and I realized the guy was just doing his job—for our safety and security.

At times, when life gets challenging, I remind myself that life is somewhat like a coin—you gotta flip it and see the other side. I was looking at the tail end of life when the guy started rummaging my bag, but at the end of it I was able to flip the coin and be thankful for what he did.

How does it matter anyway? Why am I rambling about this? I’m no Shahrukh Khan. Neither can I use that fancy word called “racism”—I was frisked in my own country goddamnit—and never ever frisked in a foreign country before.

The Unnatural Law

2009-08-30T17:14:00.013+05:30

The Deity said:

"In hundreds and in thousands see my forms, O son of Prithâ! various, divine, and of various colours and shapes. See the Âdityas, Vasus, Rudras, the two Asvins, and Maruts likewise. And O descendant of Bharata! see wonders, in numbers, unseen before. Within my body, O Gudâkesa! see today the whole universe, including (everything) movable and immovable, (all) in one, and whatever else you wish to see. But you will not be able to see me with merely, this eye of yours. I give you an eye divine. (Now) see my divine power."

—The Bhagavad Gita

In 1991, the prestigious journal Science published an article stating that the brains of homosexual men were structurally different from the brains of heterosexual men. The author, Simon LeVay, then associate professor at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies and Adjunct Professor of Biology at the University of California, had measured the volumes of four cell groups (INAH 1, 2, 3, and 4) in the anterior hypothalamus of the brain, in postmortem tissue from three subject groups—women, heterosexual men, and homosexual men. He found no differences between the groups in the volumes of INAH 1, 2, or 4. However, INAH 3 was more than twice as large in the heterosexual men compared to the INAH 3 in women and homosexuals. This implies INAH 3, the nucleus that triggers male-typical sexual behavior, was of the same size for gay men and women. Thereafter, LeVay went on to discover that the corpus callosum (a band of tissue through which the left and right hemispheres of the brain communicate) was bigger in gay men and women compared to that in straight men.

Three years later, a study led by molecular biologist Dean Hamer of the National Institute of Health in Washington, DC, found evidence to suggest that a specific gene—carried on the maternal line—influenced sexual orientation in men. Further research suggests that sexual orientation may be influenced by a combination of genes rather than a single gene.

Put together, the above studies provide strong evidence that homosexuality is rooted in biology, and is not "unnatural" as stated by a saffron clad yogi, the Catholic Church, and in Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. It is interesting to note, that Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code was drafted in 1860 by Lord Macaulay during the British rule of India and is a reflection of the British Judeo-Christian values of that time. It has nothing to do with "Indian culture" as the self-proclaimed protectors of Bharatiya Sanskriti would have us belief.

"Indian culture" to me is reflected in the passage from The Bhagavad Gita that I have reproduced at the beginning of this blog. "Indian culture" as I see, has always had the wisdom to accommodate everyone and everything. When Krishna shows his universal form to Arjuna, all that existed could be seen in him—things that Arjuna did not know, things that Arjuna never imagined, things that filled Arjuna with awe and wisdom. He realized how foolish he was to limit his vision as Krishna revealed his limitless form resembling the brilliance of a thousand splendid suns. In humility he bowed to the limitless brilliance—to the limitless possibilities of existence.

And it does not end here … it is Krishna who welcomed Shikhandi—born as a female, raised like a son, made a man by a Yaksha—to fight against Bhisma. Is Shikhandi a man or a woman … or both … or neither? What is Shikhandi's sexual orientation? What is the sexual orientation of Mohini, the female form of Vishnu, who enchanted even Shiva? What is the sexual orientation of Shiva who took the form of a milkmaid so that he could dance the raas-leela with Krishna?

Is nature not all-inclusive? Is nature unnatural … or the law?

I pray to Krishna that he bestows all of us with the divine eye, including the saffron clad yogi and the Catholic Church, so that we never have to suffer from homophobia.

But it changed me

2009-08-29T12:37:00.007+05:30

A few months back I got an opportunity to "change the world", or so I thought, through IBM's Corporate Service Corps program. The program took me to Ghana—a place in sub-Saharan Africa—a place I never imagined visiting in this lifetime. I ate fufu, banku, kenkey, kelewele—foods I had never tasted or even heard of before. I lived, worked, had fun, and bonded with IBM-ers from Japan, US, Canada, Spain, Italy, Brazil, and India—heard "Good Morning!" in seven different tones ... oops ... eight ... can't forget the friendly Ghanaians. New sounds ... new tastes ... new smell ... new landscapes ... new people ... new stories—enough sensory and emotional stimuli to etch it in my memory ... permanently.

Amidst all such "newness"—at the intersection of society, business, and technology—we forged ahead with our assigned tasks (a series of socio-economic development projects) with a dogged determination to make a positive change in the world around us. I don't know how much of a change my work has caused in the lives of people I've touched, but it has changed me for sure. It has made me more open, understanding, accepting, and compassionate. And most importantly, since my return from Ghana, I'm carrying the spirit of Lovetta Conto, a little girl from Liberia, who grew up in a refugee camp in Ghana in order to escape the brutalities of civil war, and who makes pendants out of bullet shells.

Memorable Life

2009-04-17T10:09:00.004+05:30

“How’s life?” a friend of mine had asked.

“Pretty good, thank you,” I had responded, grinning. Considering that I almost always respond using the same words, the grin conveyed my true feelings—I was happy. The happiness had stayed on with me since earlier during that day when my son had hugged me and my wife had said something really nice. In other words, a bunch of “happy” memories had made me define my life as “pretty good.” Hence, it would probably be safe to say that the quality of our lives is directly influenced by the memories we keep. Our lives, irrespective of being good or bad, are defined by a bunch of memories.

OK, so if memories are that important, it would probably serve us good to understand how they are formed and how they are retained.

We all know that memory is commonly divided into at least two stages—a short-term memory that is volatile and lasts only a few minutes and a long-term memory that is stable and can last for days, weeks, months, or even years.

Some of our short-term memory gets converted to long-term memory. Recent research suggests that the transition from short-term to long-term memory requires a spurt of new protein synthesis. It’s important to note that proteins are needed in everything we do—with every thought, every dream, every action, we use a constant supply of proteins. However, during the conversion of short-term memory to long-term memory, i.e., during the consolidation phase, the emphasis is on new proteins—we need a spurt of new proteins to form our memories. New proteins can only be formed by turning on genes. This is the genetic switch—in order to remember something in the long term, genes must be switched on.

Not surprisingly, given the complexity of memory, the action of this genetic switch for long-term memory is complex. Each gene has “gene activators” and “gene repressors” that bind to the regulatory regions of the gene. So at earliest stages of switching on the gene, there is powerful control. Hence to switch on the gene, the control needs to be overcome by activating the gene activators and eliminating the gene repressors. The genetic switch, thus turned on, produces new proteins, which in turn create the growth of synaptic connections that form memory.

Once memory is formed and is stable for a considerable period, memory can maintain itself by using the proteins that are already available. Consider for a moment, that you are injected with a drug that inhibits protein synthesis (by preventing the activation of gene activators for example) while reading this blog post. Will you retain any memory of ever reading this post? Probably not … this also is the case if you do not find this post interesting. However, if you are injected with the same drug an hour after reading the post (and probably only if you find the post interesting) you’ll most likely remember it, since after an hour the memory is stable and no new proteins need to be created to retain it. This implies that a certain “effort” is required to overcome the challenge of turning on the genetic switch—either artificially (by injecting drugs as an example) or naturally (by changing the way we react to experiences). In short, when our emotions are heightened—when we are involved passionately—we do tend to remember things more. The height of joy and the height of sorrow will invariably be etched in our memory for a long time to come as opposed to the mundane happenings of day-to-day existence. A lifetime of such memories, encoded in the constantly renewed connections between and among our brain cells, influences the way we think and react, and makes us who we are.

With further understanding of the mechanisms that form memory, we might eventually be able to control the quality of our lives by choosing to remember only what we want to remember. We might only retain the memories of love and compassion and conveniently forget the memories of hate and intolerance. Only then, the key to a “memorable” life will be in our hands.

Weird Life

2009-03-18T12:45:00.005+05:30

The search for alternative life forms—also known as “weird life”—received a major boost with the announcement by ISRO (Indian Space Research Organization) that three new species of bacteria, which are not found on Earth and are highly resistant to ultra-violet radiation, have been discovered in the upper stratosphere.

This probably implies that life may exist almost anywhere—in conditions that are considered hostile for human life or even carbon-based life in general. Alien life forms may be hidden right here on Earth—in toxic arsenic lakes (as in Mono Lake in California) or in boiling deep sea hydrothermal vents.

Interestingly, scientists have found microbes in Mono Lake that get their energy from arsenic. Though arsenic is poisonous for humans, it has chemical properties that make it ideal for microbes. What is toxic for us is an elixir of life for other forms of organisms—organisms with slightly different genetic code or different amino acids or which have more drastic differences. Maybe one or more elements that life uses—carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, phosphorus—could be replaced by something else.

In short, it’s probably safe to assume that life can exist almost anywhere—in "heaven" or in "hell"—and probably in different forms, beyond our knowledge and maybe even beyond our imagination.

The Oscars - 2009

2009-02-23T19:15:00.020+05:30

Every time I watch the Oscars my heart soars with a kind of creative energy that is difficult to explain. The Oscars have always been a celebration of cinema from all over the world and this year was no different.

The talented and charming Hugh Jackman sang and danced his way through a memorable opening number showcasing this year's celebrated films. As a "Dark Knight"-themed prop was wheeled out in the middle of the performance, he wondered what it would take a comic book movie to receive the coveted "Best Picture" nod—my feelings exactly. Rarely have I found a movie so perfect and so eerie as The Dark Knight. Though Heath Ledger gave a performance of his lifetime—a performance every actor ever born will be proud of—and deservingly received his "Actor in a Supporting Role" Oscar posthumously—the film as a whole got a raw deal.

However, loss for The Dark Knight was gain for Slumdog Millionaire. Congratulations to Danny Boyle for putting together a multi-cultural team and creating an extraordinary movie that eventually won the Oscars for "Best Picture". Unfortunately, the movie did not inspire me enough and I find it difficult to place it in the same league as other "Best Picture" movies like Dances With Wolves, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, American Beauty, Crash and so on. Nevertheless, it made me extremely happy to see A.R. Rahman and Resul Pookutty receive the Oscars and to see the joy in the face of the actors, especially the child actors, when they gathered on stage to receive the "Best Picture" award.

To conclude, I must say that though the Oscars may not go to the best of films made, they surely make us believe no matter where we come from it is up to us to define where we'll go from here. Ask Jamal if in doubt.

'Urban Jihad' kills humanity

2008-11-28T22:02:00.005+05:30

Forty-eight hours of carnage ended a few moments ago. The bravery and skill of the commandos, the shortsightedness and inefficacy of the politicians, and the despair and helplessness of civilians—reality television delivered all of it right into my study. However, I’m appalled to see the audacity of the media persons who covered the massacre with complete disregard for their own safety and security. Unknowingly, they have helped realize what is considered as the core objective of sophisticated terrorist outfits in operation the world over—international media exposure; the need to be heard; the need to spread terror. However, it is more appalling to see that the authorities concerned allowed it to happen.

I am hopeful that we, the citizens of India, will be more dignified and responsible in our approach. We’ll not blame Muslims or Pakistanis, we’ll not live in fear, and we’ll continue to spread the message of love, understanding, and acceptance. Let us not give in to the temptations of the devil—the part of our mind that persuades us to do evil. Our Jihad (struggle) is with the devil in our minds and not with the youths who killed humanity in Mumbai. Let us understand that if this event makes us angry and tempts us to do evil, we are in no way different from terrorists—“misguided youths” driven by blind beliefs.

Sleepless in Singur

2008-08-31T13:13:00.006+05:30

Today morning, as I flipped through the pages of the newspaper, an announcement by Hyundai Motor India caught my attention. The news in an isolated context wouldn't have piqued my conscience. However, discreetly hidden under several perspectives on the Singur situation, it assumes a whole new meaning in the worst of times that we live in … or maybe, I’m simply being paranoid. Yes, I’m convinced that’s what it is, I’m suffering from paranoia.

Everybody else seems to have done the right thing so far—the West Bengal Government wants to generate jobs, Didi is fighting for the rights of farmers, and Tata wants to make the most inexpensive car in the world. What moral right do I have to question the integrity of such noble souls?

The news: Hyundai Motor India announced that they are developing a model in the 800cc segment.

My paranoid thinking: How much did Hyundai pay Didi?

Just kidding (I love the Americans for inventing this turn of phrase. You can say anything you want and then just say these two golden words with a smile)!

However, some questions remain unanswered …

What happens to those people who first lost their lands, and now stand to lose their jobs if Tata backs out?

What happens to the image of West Bengal desperate to project itself as an industry-friendly state?

How do we deal with human rights violations instigated by the political mafia from either side of the fence?

Finally, what happens to the environment and the traffic situation once the nanos and the micros roll out?

It's time to be more than paranoid … it's time to be sleepless … in Singur or wherever you usually sleep.

Forbes Top 20 Most Visited Websites

2008-08-26T21:36:00.006+05:30

1. Google
2. Yahoo!
3. MSN/Windows
4. Microsoft
5. AOL Media Network
6. YouTube
7. Fox Interactive Media
8. eBay
9. Wikipedia
10. Apple
11. Amazon
12. Blogger
13. Ask Search Network
14. About.com
15. Weather Channel
16. Facebook
17. CNN Digital Network
18. Glam Media
19. Real Network
20. Craigslist

Now you know:

Why Google is a verb.
Why Microsoft wanted/wants to acquire Yahoo.
Why YouTube is a threat to television.
That the Web has come a long way from book shopping, e-mail, and porn.
And ... that if you have nothing else to say, we can always talk about the weather.

The Meaning of Life

2008-08-14T08:48:00.003+05:30

There was a time in my life, not too long ago, that almost everyday I questioned the meaning of my life. Happily married, a high achiever at work, a bunch of close friends and admirers ... so what was lacking? The search for a meaning made me restless.

I worked harder than my peers thinking that it'll lead me somewhere, I loved with all my heart thinking that it'll make me feel something, I read all the scriptures thinking it'll help me realize something. Most people thought I was living life to the fullest—at least that's what they said. They loved my passion, my zeal, and my focus. However, I was deeply unfulfilled. The more I achieved the more I felt unhappy.

The birth of my son changed everything. As I saw him grow up, I gradually started realizing that life is not about something that is waiting to happen—it's happening now. Everything that my son does is in the now. When he plays he plays, when he paints he paints, when he hugs me he hugs me ... pure action for the joy of it, not expecting that something great will happen in the future because of it. He taught me with his actions that happiness would not come from something that I expect to achieve in the future, but by doing what I love now.

There is no past and no future for me anymore. Past cannot be changed and future is yet to happen. The only thing that is happening is now, and that is life. Thinking too much about the past creates expectations for the future. Being able to fulfill those expectations create more expectations ... not satisfaction. Unfulfilled expectations create despair, angst, and grief. However, there is no failure in the now, since there is no expectation. Oh yes, you might say that there is no success either. Hold on, we have merely scratched the surface.

Success as I had known before was all about fulfilling my dreams. Dreams again are nothing but expectations. I have begun to question the nature of this very success that is driven by the ego. This is nothing but an expectation, the fulfillment of which satisfies the ego. This is nothing but waiting for something to happen, as life goes by ... until one fine morning we realize that somebody stole all our nows. Each now is like a pearl. I will continue to collect them. May be one day, if I find a thread I can make the most perfect necklace. Even otherwise, who cares—I would have collected all the pearls anyway. Searching for the meaning of life in itself is an expectation—a future waiting to happen. That is not life. Life is happening now, and in it is the meaning of life.

God Behind the Firewall - My first work of fiction

2008-03-28T07:08:00.009+05:30

Keynote

A brilliant computer analyst is on the verge of a breakthrough that could change the face of technology forever. First, however, he must unlock the meaning behind the strange dreams that visit him in the night.

Synopsis

Arun is a computer expert bored with his job testing software at an Internet security company. Although the position pays well, Arun begins to question the meaning in his own life after he experiences odd dreams that leave him shaken and sweaty each morning.

A new mentor helps Arun find more challenging work, and he soon finds himself developing breakthrough technology that could dramatically change the future of the computer industry. But first, the gifted young programmer must battle his own personal addictions in the midst of a search for the leader of an evil Internet crime ring.

As Arun begins to understand the true power of the new technology he is building, he discovers his own personal potential as well. Supported by the woman he loves and the wisdom of his mentor, Arun struggles to conquer his enemies and step forward into a new life where the dimensions of technology and spirituality can coexist in peace.

Technology and spirituality converge in God Behind the Firewall, a fascinating look at the parallels between the world as science has defined it and the spiritual realm hidden in the deepest corners of the human mind.

Buy Hardcover and Paperback at

Amazon, Barnes&Noble, a1Books, BOOKSAMILLION.COM, BORDERS, Tesco, Target, and more.

Search inside the book

Watch video.

Read interview.

See http://godbehindthefirewall.blogspot.com/ for more details.

Joyous in Jaisalmer

2008-01-13T20:43:00.002+05:30

A cluster of white tents, golden dunes, the setting sun and the rising moon, and folk singers and dancers performing around a bonfire—does it sound like the perfect setting for a movie? We lived such moments amidst the golden dunes of Jaisalmer ... moments frozen in time ... joyous moments amidst joyless terrains.

Next morning, as we left the tents behind, I carried with me the spirit of Jaisalmer—to create magic out of simple things—the video below is a testimony to that.

'Wah' and 'Nah' Taj

2008-01-13T12:27:00.000+05:30

Twenty years had had passed since I first saw the Taj. I was only a son then, and now I'm a husband and a father. I see with new eyes, feel with greater depth, is more aware, and concerned about my surroundings. Tragically, I am also human, so all concern do not necessarily get transformed into action.

Looking at the Taj had had been a 'Wah' (or Wow) moment as a gawky teenager and it was no different as a middle-aged man.

But I wasn't quite prepared for the 'Nah' moment behind the Taj (look closely at the bottles strewn around) and on the banks of Yamuna.

I did pick up the bottles and dumped them at the waste bin, but I did not have enough resources to clean up the Yamuna (you probably think I'm deluded). Is it too much to ask each individual to do their part, or does it sound like idealistic rants of a deluded individual? I am, however, a strong believer of personal freedom, so I would leave the choice for you to decide. It's your choice which side you'll take—one who litters, or one who cleans up.

The City of Eternal Love

2007-11-08T18:15:00.000+05:30

In modern times it is becoming increasingly difficult to believe in love outside the family perimeter, let alone believe in eternal love. Acts of violence pop out of newspapers, TV channels, and movies—foolish acts only humans can perform. Such continuous sensory bombardment unnerves me and makes me question—where is love?

A trip to Paris with my family somewhat restored my faith in the strength of love. I have visited several cities around the world, but in my opinion none has been built by humans with so much love. Love is not just in the air—but also in the streets, in the sidewalks, and in the road side cafés. Love can be found on the top of Eiffel Tower, or around the canals of Versailles, or while watching the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. Love never ceases to exist in what you see and what you do.

The Mona Lisa incidentally attracted the largest number of people. Considering that the Louvre is the most visited art museum of the world, and the Mona Lisa the most popular artifact in it, I had to wait for a full fifteen minutes to get the shot as you see it.

However, the Mona Lisa was not the only attraction in the Louvre. I'm compelled to use the word "love" again while describing Louvre. Every wall, ceiling, bend, curve was simply an expression of love.

And surely no discussion on Louvre is complete without mentioning the glass pyramid. Commissioned by the then French president François Mitterrand and designed by I. M. Pe, the pyramid welcomes the visitors through the main entrance. Since we had taken the underground route and accessed the museum by the Palais Royal — Musée du Louvre Metro station, the pyramid was on our way out and needless to say we made full use of it by posing for an infinite number of pictures.

Our journey continued, as we crossed Arc de Triomphe and walked along Champs-Élysées—the broadest avenue in Paris and only the second most expensive strip of real estate in the world, after New York City's Fifth Avenue.

After brief visits to the adjoining palaces and while appreciating the ornate structure of Pont Alexandre III, we saw the Eiffel Tower at a distance. So after brief visits to the adjoining palaces we went straight to the tower to get a bird's eye view of the city. And what a view it was.

After a long and eventful day we decided to relax and have our dinner at a café close by the tower. As we gorged on the sumptuous meal we completely forgot what time it was. It was almost 10 PM as we came out of the restaurant, and never imagined what was waiting for us. A starry ... starry night. It was like a gift from God—a gift of love, eternal love.

I AMsterdam

2007-11-08T18:14:00.000+05:30

We left for Amsterdam in the wee hours of the morning after footing the bill for an expensive taxi ride to Kjevik, the local airport in Kristiansand. In fact, the only bad thing about

Norway

, as I can recall, was its price level. Food, for example, was of the highest quality but quite expensive. In other words, it is probably the best place in the world to stay if you can pay for it. In contrast, Amsterdam was quite affordable, with its conspicuous presence of street food and street wares, a concept non-existent in

Norway

After we checked-in to our hotel we decided to take a tour of the city. We figured that the best way to go about Amsterdam was on a boat through its numerous canals. It is because of the canals that Amsterdam is known as the “Venice of the North”.

Soon, we hopped on to a glass top boat that meandered through the canals with the captain dutifully showing us the various tourist attractions. My son seemed excited to get a window seat. He repeatedly lunged forward to check whether there was any fish in the water. His favorite pastime in Amsterdam, as we later discovered, was to feed all the fish that were there in the hotel pond.

During the ride several things caught our fancy. I was quite impressed with the canal houses and its floor-to-ceiling windows. The best houses we discovered had been turned into corporate offices, especially multinational banks and insurance companies.

Nemo, a science museum, which looked like a huge ship, was quite an architectural marvel.

Amsterdam, we realized was a bicycle-friendly city as we discovered a huge parking area reserved for bicycles towards the end of our trip. The bicycle culture was an inherent aspect of the city that discouraged driving a car with its steep parking fees, and several streets were closed to cars or were one-way.

The next day, we thought taking our son to a place he would like. We landed up in a place called Tun Fun, where my son enjoyed the slides, bowling, and soccer. It wasn’t such a great place and probably not worth a visit. But kids believe in “living in the NOW”, and with them insignificant things, like bowling, becomes a joyous rupture. Each moment with my son became overwhelmingly joyous and an experience to treasure as he laughed, giggled, and even cried for a while (on being pushed by a slightly older boy).

After the fun-filled experience our son looked tired and hence I and my wife decided to go visit the Van Gogh museum. We marveled at Van Gogh’s genius as our son slept peacefully on a stroller. I was particularly moved by the elements of pointillism in some of his paintings, where many small strokes were applied to the canvas, resulting in an optical blend of hues, when seen from a distance. It was hard to imagine that such a creative mind and a lover of nature and beauty would succumb to his own depression at the age of thirty-seven, as he uttered his last words with Theo, his brother, by his side. “The sadness will last forever” he had said. Indeed it does, in the hearts and minds of people who are mesmerized by his genius.

Finally, before we left Amsterdam, I wanted to discover the other side of Amsterdam—the things that make Amsterdam famous or infamous depending on your perspective. I visited the sex museum, walked through the alleys of De Wallen, the red-light district, and did some window shopping at the cannabis stores. Conventionally speaking, these are not the places a respectable gentleman would like to visit or be found at. But for me it was a pilgrimage. Like a true pilgrim, it was not only an outward journey, but also a journey inwards, to my soul. Amsterdam helps you discover yourself—how you are, what you want, and what’s lacking in your life. It is not about being judgmental. It is not about considering whether prostitution and drugs are bad. It is about delving deep into your soul and finding yourself. It is not about repression, but about choices we make in our day-to-day lives that creates our destiny. I came out of the alleys, with a broadened perspective and with a realization. It is easy to be judgmental about others; it is easy to mark something as bad or sleazy. However, it is much more difficult to accept oneself, make the right choices, and eventually grow as a human being. Amsterdam is your mirror. Amsterdam to you is the way you are—I AMsterdam reflects your identity.

The Kingdom of Peace

2007-08-17T18:36:00.000+05:30

Kingdom of Norway was just another European country for me before I and my family landed in Kristiansand ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kristiansand ). A sunny Sunday afternoon welcomed us, as the City hopper touched down on Kjevik—the airport in Kristiansand. Since then, after experiencing Kristiansand for a few days, I now realize that it is a synonym for peace, tranquility and beauty taken together. In fact, Norway is rated as the most peaceful country in the world, and now after experiencing it I truly understand what it means. Incidentally, my hometown is one of the most populous cities in the world, bustling with an economic upturn after three decades. So tranquility is rare, and at least for me, can only be experienced by staying at home. In Norway tranquility is not confined indoors, but engulfs you at every place and at every moment. Many moments seemed exactly the same as we walked along the idyllic countryside—the cool breeze kissed our face, the warm sun embraced us, the flowers smiled at us, and a sudden rain surprised us. In moments of stillness, I saw the clear blue sky merge with the calmness of the sea, and sparse white clouds play hide-n-seek behind the green tree laden hills. In other words, I felt ecstatic experiencing the stillness around me, and the harmonious synchronicity of what nature had to offer.
The uniqueness of the trip was in the time that I got to spend with my son. Mundane activities—like helping him experience different types of food, taking him to the beach, helping him work with the coloring kit he got from his ever smiling “auntie” during the flight, or even singing a lullaby for him while putting him to sleep—had taken a whole new meaning. For me that was bliss, and though the time is destined to be finite, I’m sure the experience would continue to warm my heart forever.
I have never stopped at experiencing different kinds of food, and this trip had been no different. I tasted the freshest salmon, trout, tuna, sardine and mackerel along with the juiciest varieties of steak and BBQ pork ribs. And to top it all were the fruits—plums, blueberries, grapes, oranges, pears, pineapple, watermelon and apples—all of them sweet, fresh and juicy. Even my son had taken an instant liking for the food, and it warmed my heart to see him eat without any fuss. I was not required to put in the humongous effort that my wife puts in back home, in ensuring that my son is properly fed.
Apart from the idyllic settings of Kristiansand, there is nothing much that’ll attract a typical “tourist”. Yes like most European countries there is a Cathedral and a High Street.

And fortunately the Cathedral is close to the High Street, so it would only take one less than an hour to visit both…unless off course you are not a proverbial shopper. You could also visit a teeny-weeny fortress—Christiansholm, and spend some time in the teeny-weeny beach with its teeny-weeny waves.

So for a person looking for UNESCO World Heritage Sites this is surely not the place, but the perfect place for a person who can feel the significance of insignificant things—peace, beauty, synchronicity, harmony and God’s grace. For the person who is willing, a journey to Norway is a journey to one’s inner self—to realize one’s nature by walking along moments of self-discovery. Oscar Wilde once said “The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly—that is what each of us is here for.” If you agree, you got to be here in Norway.
However, the best thing about Norway is its people. Everyone looks so radiant and so happy. The women are pretty (yes you guessed it right, with blonde hairs and blue eyes), the men are handsome, and the children look joyous. We also discovered that they are polite, warm, and friendly after spending an evening with a lovely Norwegian couple. Their hospitality could have easily given the proverbial “Indian hospitality” a run for its money. They not only treated us with a sumptuous dinner consisting of fish, pork, chicken, and salads, but also took us for a boat ride through the nearest fjord ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fjord ), without which my Norwegian summer would have remained incomplete. The crystal clear water of the fjord reflected the colors of the sky so faithfully that for a moment I felt if heaven and earth was turned upside down, it would not have made much of a difference. Probably it had been turned upside down already. Heaven descended on the fjord and touched our hearts—touched by the beauty of Norway and its beautiful people.

Power of choice

2007-07-07T17:50:00.000+05:30

Couple of months back a friend of mine told me 7th July 2007 is a significant date. I have this annoying habit of asking a question the moment it arises in my mind. “Why?” I inquired.
“The new seven wonders would be announced.”
“What’s that all about?”
“You don’t know? The entire world is voting for it.” I felt apologetic for my ignorance.

A couple of months passed by and today on the D-Day I feel the least bit apologetic…actually I feel euphoric. I am no more apologetic being ignorant about the perennial human obsession in trying to identify the Seven Wonders of the World. However hard we try and whatever mechanism we employ it is improbable to device a list that would be to everyone’s liking. The question that crept to my mind immediately after being made aware of the significance of the day, was that how would it help humanity as a whole even if we come out with the perfect seven that is of everybody’s liking. Yes you might argue that everyone will feel happy. Then I have a second question for you—how long will the happiness persist? Secondly, the situation is hypothetical and would never happen. Seven Wonders is being voted. If you have enough money, clout and perseverance you can get your favorite to top the chart; it need not be the best. The banality of the entire exercise is astounding. People are spending a significant amount of time in an insignificant endeavor of little or no value to themselves, as the creators of this concept laugh all the way to the bank.

The New Seven wonders weren’t enough for me to consider 7th July a significant day. I was determined to add significance to it. I said it to myself and divinity listened. My wish was granted. Through my company I got an opportunity to teach computers to children—children whom the society tags as ‘underprivileged’. The children proved me that the tagging was inappropriate. Some of them spoke English so well that they could put many privileged individuals to shame. You had to see their keenness, their intelligence and brilliance to understand what I am talking about. None of them had any feelings of inferiority. It is us that make them feel inferior or underprivileged. Nature never made them underprivileged. It is us as parents, society and humanity as a whole that deny their birthright. We are privileged; we have everything we need. Still we continue to amass and possess until we drop dead. Most of us would continue to do that without ever blinking an eye for what children want. It is much easier to tag them as underprivileged.

7th July, 2007 became significant for me. Being with the children, teaching them, sharing ideas with them and even showing them my list of seven wonders through a PowerPoint presentation made me realize the significance of giving children what is their birthright—food, shelter, security and education. That’s all they need. All it needs is selfless work from us; to understand that an insignificant thing like this is in fact significant. They are our future; they are what the world would be tomorrow. In a world that is making insignificant things significant through great pomp and show in Lisbon, this is difficult to expect. But it’s not impossible to turn things around if you look into the eyes of children, irrespective of them being privileged or underprivileged. Is it too much to plunge into selfless work towards realizing a perfect future—a future without poverty, terrorism, abuse, exploitation and global warming? Look into those little eyes and you will see the future. If you want to change it, the time is now.

Make a life

2007-04-04T23:47:00.000+05:30

One day a colleague of mine came up to me and asked “What keeps you going, nonstop?” That was quite an extraordinary day and it seemed a very obvious question. There was a challenge in a production system that kept me up for 48 hours (no kidding, without sleep and truly at it). My client stood to lose millions of dollars if I couldn’t fix that. For two days my partner saw me at my desk motionless when he left really late at night and when he came back very early next morning. I didn’t have a very convincing answer that day; said something about motivation and being young.

A few years later I think I know what keeps me going and the things that help me keep going. This blog is for that partner who asked me the question a few years back and for others who ask me the same question even today.

Winston Churchill once said “You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give.” My client paid for my daily bread. He wanted me to do something to stay in business. I had to give him that. I had to 'make my life'.

But what helps me keep going? Many things, but I wanted to list the top three

1. Take care of yourself
2. Travel
3. Keep learning

I pushed myself for 48 hours. I have repeated that feat many times, but learnt to put the breaks and save it for the day when it’s most needed. Take adequate rest (6-8 hours). Six is better than eight. You get a couple of hour head start. Talking about a head start, try to get up early. Keep yourself fit, both mentally (read something that enriches you, meditate) and physically (exercise). As Ben Franklin noted “Get up early, there'll be plenty of time to sleep when you are dead”. I think he was a pretty smart guy.

Eat something that nourishes your body. Eat a balanced diet. Learn to experiment with food. Try something new, try something that’ll keep you interested and nourish your body. If you like Indian food, then try French for a change. If you like French try Japanese and so on.

Avoid bad habits. Give up smoking. Don’t touch drugs. Do not do late nights. Don’t get hooked to the Net or the television. Get out, meet people and get a life. Take care of yourself – life is precious.

Travel as often as you can. This energizes your mind and broadens your perspective. You get to see different cultures and meet interesting people.

And most importantly keep learning. Do what ever it takes. Read, surf the net, learn from a Guru. Stay alive. Keep your mind alive. Learning is great fun; it helps you travel without having to move an inch. Let your mind travel, and feel the excitement.

Amma’s sojourn

2007-04-03T03:00:00.000+05:30

The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: While speaking learned words, you are mourning for what is not worthy of grief. Those who are wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead.

Bhagavad Gita

Just over a week back my grandmother whom I fondly called 'Amma' passed away. I tried to give as much love, care and support as was possible for the last one month or so to make her existence as painless as possible. To see someone, couple of months shy of her nineties, withstanding the strain of dialysis (for details see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialysis) week after week was enough torture for my young mind. Her inner strength and will to live gave us hope at times, but we all knew deep down in our hearts that we were losing the battle against nature.

Yes we lost her and it was difficult to witness her being shoved into an electric furnace (quite unceremoniously considering she is niece of Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose). It took all but 45 minutes to reduce her to ashes. It is important to remember though, that it was only a body that the soul used to justify its existence in this world. As long as she lived, apart from the last few years of struggle, she personified the 'joy of living'. At the end of it all I salute her spirit and feel happy that she did not have to withstand for long, the pain the last few years gave her.

I was very young when I lost my grandfather. So in a way this was the first death I witnessed so closely. I saw many things that I wished I would have never seen. I saw real tears and also the lack of it. It hurts but it is true. As humans become more civilized I continue to see more and more pretence. People offer 'condolences' and feel 'sorry' without really feeling 'sorry'. Sure I do see some really close people feel a great sense of grief, but they are too few for someone who lived almost ninety years. Nevertheless what is comforting is the thought that she had many more close people who are no more with us. And there are few wise people who are feeling better off not to see or hear about her suffer any more.

Last couple of months was particularly strenuous for me. I had tough deadlines to meet at work, with some really long nights. It played havoc with my body clock; who else writes a blog at 3am? The stress has been both physical and mental. Apart from the stress and strain at work and some uncertainties of long term travel and its arrangements, as custom would have it I also had to withstand some meaningless ceremonies. Do not get hurt if you believe in ceremonies like 'Shradh' and 'Niyambhonga' (where friends and family gather to offer condolences and have lunch). I hated all that from a very young age and it's simply a personal belief. Gather and eat if you are celebrating something. Why if someone's dead? Hopefully there would be more people who would also believe the same way.

My father worked tirelessly and arranged for all the rituals. I am not sure whether he truly believes it or was it a sign of respect for 'Amma'. Either way he did everything as custom would require him to do. I deeply respect him for not what he did but the way he did it. I helped him due to this respect though my heart was not fully there for what followed beyond the electric furnace.

If you believe in afterlife and believe in the philosophies of the soul and the spirit then you know that each life enriches the 'Causal Body' which is a part of the soul. In simple terms 'Causal Body' is a depository of experience for each life that we live. This is what makes our soul 'older' or wiser. Death therefore is an enriching experience and that should be enough for us to move on once the body is cremated.

Netaji's Crusaders

2007-02-20T18:36:00.000+05:30

Over the years there had been considerable speculation surrounding Netaji’s death. Since my grandmother is Netaji’s niece I had been exposed to such endless discussions from an impressionable age. With every conversation on Netaji, my respect for him grew considerably and my respect for Nehru came down a notch or two. It was easy to idolize the man and even doubt Mahatma’s intention to set us free.

Luckily for me wisdom prevailed and my mind refused to accept anything unless backed by hard evidence. The Mukherjee Commission report has been the right vehicle to uncover the truth and provide some answers to endless speculations. If you wish to know about it, you may read it here at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mukherjee_Commission

The follow-up to this report has been particularly interesting. The government rejected the Mukherjee Commission report without showing any reason. Even the dumbest person I know will smell a rat here. And I have evidence here (who knows me better than I myself). A local news agency took up the role of supreme crusader to uncover the truth. The self proclaimed crusader attracted all other crusaders who were suddenly overwhelmed with the media frenzy that followed.

As children we are taught by parents, teachers and everyone else who cares for us to consider truth as a virtue. We are also taught to love and respect every other human being as no one is completely right or wrong. Having said that, it hurts me to see members of the Bose family settling old scores and personal grudges in their search for truth. Dignified members of the family have been maligned in public. The local news agency lapped up all this with derogatory narrations in the background while their puppet crusaders basked in media glory. Sisir Bose and his family have been projected as liars and schemers by the rest of the family. Sisir Bose is no more, and he would not come back from the heavens to defend himself. Of what I saw of him he had been a perfect gentleman and a great doctor. It hurts when a self proclaimed crusader maligns him and takes the help of other self proclaimed crusaders who are out to settle personal scores.

Of what I have seen of the news program I have not learned anything in addition to what has already been claimed in the Mukherjee Commission report. I am all for truth, but against forces that do not care for basic human values.

Return to innocence

2006-09-29T04:18:00.000+05:30

When was the last time you said someone ' I love you'? When was your last act of kindness? When did you last say sorry to someone you were rude with and really meant it? Do you remember? We connect more and more everyday through phones, through e-mails, through blogs, only to get disconnected with our family. We appease the whole world but our near and dear ones. Somethings wrong, but we think everything is fine.

Is it about time we go back and be a child again; for nature to return our innocence, our honesty and unconditional love?

How truthful are we to ourselves, our family and friends? Do we ever say what we truly feel anymore? Do we have the courage to acknowledge our mistakes and apologize? Do we understand anymore what integrity means?

Let me start and pray to nature, to give me back my childhood and for everyone I know.

Doing Kaizen

2006-01-22T12:21:00.000+05:30

I got initiated to the word 'Kaizen' almost six years ago on one of the SEI-CMM Level 5 quality presentations. I do not quite remember the name of the person who gave that presentation, but I wish I did as I missed out on an opportunity to say "thank you". The presentation was focused on improving the quality of computer software that is developed, but something in me said that the power of the word Kaizen was far beyond improving the quality of software. Kaizen held the key to unlock my potential and transform me into a 'Genius'.

Over the last six years I have successfully implemented the theory of Kaizen in a few areas of my life and have benefited immensely. Kaizen has helped me to overcome both personal and professional challenges and in many ways have made me a better individual. Still I am far from perfecting the art of Kaizen as many areas of my life continue to remain untouched by its power. Here again I feel is the true beauty of Kaizen. There are really no boundaries or limits. Use the wand called Kaizen to gradually touch each and every aspect of your life and continue to touch it for the rest of your life. Remember that best is just good enough. We use the word 'best' since we have not seen anything better yet, but in no way it establishes the limit of human potential. The limits are only imaginary boundaries created by our mind. If you really can't think that a limit can be bettered it is quite unlikely that you would make an attempt to go beyond the limit and be better than the best.

Hence I have always believed that everything starts with the mind. It is important to train your mind everyday similar to an athlete who trains continuously to run faster. Unless your mind can think beyond pre-defined limits you would never even attempt to take a shot at greatness. Help your mind so that it can help you. Read books that help you to be a better person and a better professional. Good books have in them years of wisdom that will help you to acquire it in a few days. Contemplate and ask yourself some simple questions everyday to challenge your mind - What is the purpose of my life? Why was I born? What can I do to make the world a better place to live in? Do something everyday you don't like but that must be done. This will help you to control your mind so that it listens to you. Unless you control your mind it will control you and you would never see the light of greatness.

Mind, body and character are what makes an individual. Being a better person by applying Kaizen would require you to continuously improve all the three aspects.
Body - Unless you feel good, how will you think good?
Mind - Unless you think good, how will you do good?
Character - Unless you do good, how will you be better?
Hence to really be better and achieve self-mastery that will eventually lead you to greatness, continuous improvement of all the three aspects is essential.

All individuals are just that - individuals. We all have different dreams, ambitions, likes, dislikes etc. Hence what works for one might not work for another. There is no '10 ways to greatness' or '100 tips to change the world', but it is important to know what works best for you. To know that you would have to try out a few alternatives. For example, to get a great body you may try to wake up early and exercise. To improve your mind read good books, learn a new language or get a higher education. To improve your character do a 'good turn' everyday, help somebody overcome a challenge, help your wife around the house, play soccer with your child, do things that you don't want to do but must be done to make the world a better place to live in. And in whatever that you do there is always a room for improvement. And with continuous improvement every day you are well on your way to become a 'Genius'.

Reaching for destiny

2006-01-08T08:11:00.001+05:30

There comes a time in one's life when things change ... when we stop dreaming like a child. We do not feel the same enthusiasm towards work as a child feels when its playtime. In all probability we do not realize this until something important happens ... for me it was the events that unfolded after the birth of my son.

I considered my life a success as I won awards, was recognised by my peers and was the blue-eyed boy of the top boss. Nothing seemed to go wrong as I went up the corporate ladder and enjoyed whatever I did and the rewards that came out of it. There was offcourse enough purpose of what I did and felt happy that I was on the right track and close to realizing my destiny. But that was not to be ... someone was watching me closely.

The birth of my son turned my world upside down. Looking at him sleep made me realize all that is good in this world. I wished my life paused right then.

A few months of sleepless nights, and probably the happiest moments of my life, went by as I saw my child grow up. The amazement and enthusiasm in his eyes made me question my success. It made me ponder - 'Is this all that I want from life? Is this all that I can give back to life? Will my eyes reflect the same amazement and enthusiasm as that of my son for the rest of my life?' My mind refused to answer as I was too much into what I considered success. And then there was the omens ...

June 2005 - I read this lecture by Steve Jobs at Stanford which said 'You've got to find what you love'.
http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505

October 2005 - I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I am currently reading The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma

The books were gifted to me by my wife, who I know have always felt that I was born for a bigger purpose in life. In many ways whatever is good in me today is because of her. This blog probably would not have happened otherwise.

By writing this blog I have embarked on a journey similar to that of Santiago. I wish to see the 'Pyramids' and find my treasure. I am sure I would be 'successful' someday and I would surely keep you all posted.