The usual suspects

Why would a middle-aged man travel almost nine thousand miles for work, leaving his family behind, for an indefinite period? I’ve been trying to answer this question for the last two months. And did I succeed? Not yet—but I think I’m getting there.

OK, so let’s shoot down the usual suspects first, before I start getting philosophical—it’s my daily drug—can’t live without it.

Is it about the money?

Seven years back I would have probably said yes—the paycheck wasn’t attractive. I needed more money to even think about being a father. And as luck would have it I did board a flight to London—a young man, traveling five thousand miles, for an indefinite period … and for money.

Seven years … things have changed … many things have changed. The money still isn’t attractive—but it’s good enough to stick with the family. I love my wife more than I’ve ever loved her and I simply adore my son … he’s a bit shy, like me, but he also tops his class, paints exceptionally well, and plays tennis much better than the ten year olds who play with him.

Will it help me in my career?

Maybe it will … but it’s not why I took the offer. I’ve never put my career before my family. Sorry folks, it’s just not me.

Am I going through a mid-life crisis?

Like most events in my life, my mid-life crisis came way too early. I think I’m well past it … actually I’m sure I’m well past it. You know it when it’s gone. You feel a sense of calm, you begin to accept things more easily, you begin to take things in your stride, and most importantly you stop complaining—about your life, about your wife, about your job, about anyone and/or everything that matters to you most.

Is it the wanderlust?

OK, let’s settle this matter once and for all. A middle-aged man, with a loving wife and a doting son, never takes off without his family just for the sake of wanderlust. A week’s vacation for the entire family to someplace exotic could take care of that.

OK … so let me ask again. Why would a middle-aged man …?

I don’t know … yet. But I think I’m beginning to understand. Sometimes you do a thing because you feel that’s the right thing to do—you flow like the river … you let it go … you take it as it comes … you stop resisting. And what you get in return could change your life for ever … you begin appreciating what you leave behind, much more than you ever had … you truly come to realize what matters most.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to make the best use of my current goddamn situation … making a little bit of money, trying to advance my career, feeling happy that my mid-life crisis is behind me, and most importantly satisfying my wanderlust.

And about the wanderlust thing … will write more about it in my next posting. Stay tuned.