The Best of 2009

Since 2009 is now over, I thought it would be interesting to explore the things that appealed to me most ... to my senses to be precise.

The best thing I saw—Avatar in 3D and everything we saw in Orlando. Blind Side was a close second.

The best thing I heard—songs by Parapar.

The best thing I touched—my new Garmin nuvi GPS. I'm directionally challenged and hate asking for directions—what better thing to touch?

The best thing I tasted—seafood by Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.

The best thing I smelled—the air in Arkansas ... sounds strange? It won't if you come from Kolkata.

What appealed to me beyond the senses? The joy of meeting my family after three months. The Corporate Service Corps experience was a close second.

Miniature ballerinas

Magic happened one day when I was lying in Sampurna’s arms with my head on her chest—flakes of snow started appearing. They danced their way down like miniature ballerinas, softly and quietly and in no hurry to touch the earth. It seemed like a gift from the heavens as they floated on air and kissed the window panes. We kept on watching the snow as it descended on the courtyard. After almost two hours, the courtyard turned completely white. London experienced its heaviest snowfall in ten years.

—God Behind the Firewall

Bentonville is no London, I'm no Arun (the protagonist in the novel), and I'm all by myself. However, it’s the same with snowfalls. As I looked through the window panes early in the morning, flakes of snow started appearing. They danced their way down like miniature ballerinas, softly and quietly and in no hurry to touch the earth. It seemed like a gift from the heavens as they floated on air and kissed the window panes. I kept on watching the snow as it descended on the parking lot. I witnessed snowfall, for the first time in Bentonville.

Arkansas – The Natural State

It’s not without reason that Arkansas is called The Natural State—mountains, rivers, falls, streams, and hot springs have been sprinkled like pixie dust by Tinker Bell. There is only one thing that you'll need, in order to follow the trail left by Tinker Bell—wanderlust … actually on second thoughts … there's another thing you'll need … a car.

So I took my car and followed the pixie dust trail and ….

I found a falls that reminded me of the boundless energy and disarming innocence of my son.

I witnessed a sunset over a lake that reminded me of the beauty and grace of my wife.

I witnessed the colors of the fall that reminded me of the harmony and bonding that we share as a family.

It seems that Arkansas can bring out the best in me—the best dad and the best hubby. And I’m not trying to be cute; I’m making a point here.

The usual suspects

Why would a middle-aged man travel almost nine thousand miles for work, leaving his family behind, for an indefinite period? I’ve been trying to answer this question for the last two months. And did I succeed? Not yet—but I think I’m getting there.

OK, so let’s shoot down the usual suspects first, before I start getting philosophical—it’s my daily drug—can’t live without it.

Is it about the money?

Seven years back I would have probably said yes—the paycheck wasn’t attractive. I needed more money to even think about being a father. And as luck would have it I did board a flight to London—a young man, traveling five thousand miles, for an indefinite period … and for money.

Seven years … things have changed … many things have changed. The money still isn’t attractive—but it’s good enough to stick with the family. I love my wife more than I’ve ever loved her and I simply adore my son … he’s a bit shy, like me, but he also tops his class, paints exceptionally well, and plays tennis much better than the ten year olds who play with him.

Will it help me in my career?

Maybe it will … but it’s not why I took the offer. I’ve never put my career before my family. Sorry folks, it’s just not me.

Am I going through a mid-life crisis?

Like most events in my life, my mid-life crisis came way too early. I think I’m well past it … actually I’m sure I’m well past it. You know it when it’s gone. You feel a sense of calm, you begin to accept things more easily, you begin to take things in your stride, and most importantly you stop complaining—about your life, about your wife, about your job, about anyone and/or everything that matters to you most.

Is it the wanderlust?

OK, let’s settle this matter once and for all. A middle-aged man, with a loving wife and a doting son, never takes off without his family just for the sake of wanderlust. A week’s vacation for the entire family to someplace exotic could take care of that.

OK … so let me ask again. Why would a middle-aged man …?

I don’t know … yet. But I think I’m beginning to understand. Sometimes you do a thing because you feel that’s the right thing to do—you flow like the river … you let it go … you take it as it comes … you stop resisting. And what you get in return could change your life for ever … you begin appreciating what you leave behind, much more than you ever had … you truly come to realize what matters most.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to make the best use of my current goddamn situation … making a little bit of money, trying to advance my career, feeling happy that my mid-life crisis is behind me, and most importantly satisfying my wanderlust.

And about the wanderlust thing … will write more about it in my next posting. Stay tuned.

I'm no Shahrukh Khan!

My fifth visit to the United States started rather eventfully. At Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose International Airport in Kolkata, I was subjected to a rather prolonged security check—the security personnel mistook my USB flash drive as a … hold your breath … lighter.

“I don’t even smoke,” I complained. The security guys looked nonchalant. I was starting to get impatient as one of the guys rummaged through my handbag. Fortunately, better sense prevailed and I realized the guy was just doing his job—for our safety and security.

At times, when life gets challenging, I remind myself that life is somewhat like a coin—you gotta flip it and see the other side. I was looking at the tail end of life when the guy started rummaging my bag, but at the end of it I was able to flip the coin and be thankful for what he did.

How does it matter anyway? Why am I rambling about this? I’m no Shahrukh Khan. Neither can I use that fancy word called “racism”—I was frisked in my own country goddamnit—and never ever frisked in a foreign country before.

The Unnatural Law

The Deity said:

"In hundreds and in thousands see my forms, O son of Prithâ! various, divine, and of various colours and shapes. See the Âdityas, Vasus, Rudras, the two Asvins, and Maruts likewise. And O descendant of Bharata! see wonders, in numbers, unseen before. Within my body, O Gudâkesa! see today the whole universe, including (everything) movable and immovable, (all) in one, and whatever else you wish to see. But you will not be able to see me with merely, this eye of yours. I give you an eye divine. (Now) see my divine power."

—The Bhagavad Gita

In 1991, the prestigious journal Science published an article stating that the brains of homosexual men were structurally different from the brains of heterosexual men. The author, Simon LeVay, then associate professor at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies and Adjunct Professor of Biology at the University of California, had measured the volumes of four cell groups (INAH 1, 2, 3, and 4) in the anterior hypothalamus of the brain, in postmortem tissue from three subject groups—women, heterosexual men, and homosexual men. He found no differences between the groups in the volumes of INAH 1, 2, or 4. However, INAH 3 was more than twice as large in the heterosexual men compared to the INAH 3 in women and homosexuals. This implies INAH 3, the nucleus that triggers male-typical sexual behavior, was of the same size for gay men and women. Thereafter, LeVay went on to discover that the corpus callosum (a band of tissue through which the left and right hemispheres of the brain communicate) was bigger in gay men and women compared to that in straight men.

Three years later, a study led by molecular biologist Dean Hamer of the National Institute of Health in Washington, DC, found evidence to suggest that a specific gene—carried on the maternal line—influenced sexual orientation in men. Further research suggests that sexual orientation may be influenced by a combination of genes rather than a single gene.

Put together, the above studies provide strong evidence that homosexuality is rooted in biology, and is not "unnatural" as stated by a saffron clad yogi, the Catholic Church, and in Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. It is interesting to note, that Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code was drafted in 1860 by Lord Macaulay during the British rule of India and is a reflection of the British Judeo-Christian values of that time. It has nothing to do with "Indian culture" as the self-proclaimed protectors of Bharatiya Sanskriti would have us belief.

"Indian culture" to me is reflected in the passage from The Bhagavad Gita that I have reproduced at the beginning of this blog. "Indian culture" as I see, has always had the wisdom to accommodate everyone and everything. When Krishna shows his universal form to Arjuna, all that existed could be seen in him—things that Arjuna did not know, things that Arjuna never imagined, things that filled Arjuna with awe and wisdom. He realized how foolish he was to limit his vision as Krishna revealed his limitless form resembling the brilliance of a thousand splendid suns. In humility he bowed to the limitless brilliance—to the limitless possibilities of existence.

And it does not end here … it is Krishna who welcomed Shikhandi—born as a female, raised like a son, made a man by a Yaksha—to fight against Bhisma. Is Shikhandi a man or a woman … or both … or neither? What is Shikhandi's sexual orientation? What is the sexual orientation of Mohini, the female form of Vishnu, who enchanted even Shiva? What is the sexual orientation of Shiva who took the form of a milkmaid so that he could dance the raas-leela with Krishna?

Is nature not all-inclusive? Is nature unnatural … or the law?

I pray to Krishna that he bestows all of us with the divine eye, including the saffron clad yogi and the Catholic Church, so that we never have to suffer from homophobia.

But it changed me

A few months back I got an opportunity to "change the world", or so I thought, through IBM's Corporate Service Corps program. The program took me to Ghana—a place in sub-Saharan Africa—a place I never imagined visiting in this lifetime. I ate fufu, banku, kenkey, kelewele—foods I had never tasted or even heard of before. I lived, worked, had fun, and bonded with IBM-ers from Japan, US, Canada, Spain, Italy, Brazil, and India—heard "Good Morning!" in seven different tones ... oops ... eight ... can't forget the friendly Ghanaians. New sounds ... new tastes ... new smell ... new landscapes ... new people ... new stories—enough sensory and emotional stimuli to etch it in my memory ... permanently.

Amidst all such "newness"—at the intersection of society, business, and technology—we forged ahead with our assigned tasks (a series of socio-economic development projects) with a dogged determination to make a positive change in the world around us. I don't know how much of a change my work has caused in the lives of people I've touched, but it has changed me for sure. It has made me more open, understanding, accepting, and compassionate. And most importantly, since my return from Ghana, I'm carrying the spirit of Lovetta Conto, a little girl from Liberia, who grew up in a refugee camp in Ghana in order to escape the brutalities of civil war, and who makes pendants out of bullet shells.